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"Hell no," I said; "or actually, yes. What you are doing and have done and plan to do to me: those are the things that turned, and are turning, me off."I can't do it, April. I can't. I can't be your cuckold. I just can't get it up for a woman who is of the opinion that I'm no good in bed, no matter how desperate I get. I thought I could get through the week, but I realize now that I can't. Seeing you like that, when you came out of the bathroom, trust me; I was—am—desperate!" I said."Finn, I love it when you make love to me. I do. I don't think you're no good in bed. Yes, Roger is very good, but he isn't you. I'm not trying to get you back for your money. I'm trying to get you back because I need you. I need his dick too, but it really is only a part time toy! Nothing more! Jesus, I'm sorry, and I mean forever sorry, that I said those things to you. I had to have been out of it mentally to have said them. I don't know. All I do know is I want to take everything I said back! Please,. "But you give me hope."I kept my mouth shut and just hugged her tightly. This whole thing had been rather overwhelming for an emotionally-stunted 17-year-old boy like me. I didn't pretend to understand the psychological convolutions going through Adrienne's head, but I knew one thing: I didn't want her out of my life. The mere thought of a dead Adrienne freaked the hell out of me, not just for the idea of a dead person, but because of WHOM. They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Well, the thought of Adrienne no longer being around pained me beyond measure.Dawn was right: I DID still care about her. And more than just an ordinary friend. And this time when I looked down to see her eyes glowing golden and shimmering with moisture, I felt that overpowering urge to kiss her once again. It wouldn't be so bad, right? Dawn HAD given me permission.But even if I was allowed by Dawn, it wasn't right for me and Adrienne. Not now, maybe not ever again. Adrienne needed me as a.
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